True Beauty

Copyright Ryan Tones

Just looking at that for me is the perfect serenity for a sunday!!!

Fears..

With time, some fears are able to fade away while others are never going to go away. There are some fears that we are never able to face though. Its difficult to face certain fears, like public speaking. One of my BIGGEST fears in my life. I understand that there are people that can face their fears but that is not one of them for me.

Fears that i believe people can face are the fears of certain objects or animals. I am deathly afraid of clowns but i think that eventually i COULD potentially get over it. People say that its a phobia. its called coulrophobia, which is the fear of clowns. thats something that you can get over, over time.

Public speaking im guessing comes with time, but i have no want to get over that fear because i am so afraid, i dislike saying anything infront of anyone other then my friends.

So is there something wrong with me that i am like this? Am i too afraid of change? whatever it may be i hope to figure it out soon, because school requires you to be more open with yourself and with your peers no matter how afraid you are.

Learning..

We all have things that we are naturally good at, there are things that with being taught that we can learn pretty easily too. Currently im in school and there are things i know already that im going to need to pay alot of attention to and learn, this is my last year and i need to do well and im going to.

Alot of people put blocks on themselves, they say that they cant do certain things, like learn, that they cant do better then a d or c in certain classes and i dont believe it, i see that with my friends especially, they are constantly tearing themselves down about how they do academicly. and it bothers me cause i love them and i dont want them to be like that, so i offer my help, i tell them, hey i will help you all the time if you want, just let me know and ill be there or call me, and no matter how many times i say it, they never do.

This is about learning from your own mistakes, if you cant get it down on your own the first time, dont be fighting to pass something when you have help right infront of you. Accept the help and learn that its ok not to do everything by yourself.

Time

No matter how we try to preserve it time passes us by constantly we see it with EVERYONE. It passes us by and there are even times that we dont understand it, but now i can see that i need to live it up

In the last 2 days i have truly realized that time has just flown right past me. Within the last three years i have had my share of relationships, and shits, i have had my share of AMAZING teachers, some that i even tried to get more then once. I have passed up dances, gone to football games and lost alot of friends over the most pathetic of reasons. AND now they tell me that its over 200 days and ill be graduating, even less if you only count school days, ill be 18, and ill be on my way to college. Ill hopefully still be by Ryans side. and i cannot wait for he rest of this school year, im so excited about finally graduating.

I know its a little off topic but who doesnt love Pink Floyd Dark side of the Moon!



Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but youre older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
Its good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

Are we always going to be misunderstood?

We all have our own view on things. People at times have problems admitting when they are wrong, in my circle. We all think we know it all. Now there is a problem with some of my friends that they are repeating my mistakes, almost action for action, i understand some cant get things till they do it themselves but come on, there are certain things that you have to get in life and i think that taking advice should be one of them. i know my last post said that drama queens are on there own, this is just my opinion for everyone, not just the drama queens, EVERYONE needs some form of critisizm or help at some point.

People tell me that i dont make any sense at times, i get that, i do but i think the fact that they are blinded by SOMETHING that isnt allowing them to hear what im telling them.

This is now the point im going to walk away, Friend, or not im walking away.

To my FAVORITE people....Drama Queens

My first day back to school, im looking forward to seeing some of my friends, and others are who this post is for. I understand that we are teenagers, I understand that drama is part of high school, im not oblivious to that fact at all. My problem is when it comes anywhere near me.

This is my senior year and im not looking to be in all the drama, I have delt with it the last 3 years, its not going to happen at all this year, im unable to give a damn about these people, if they have drama i dont want it anywhere near me. I hate dealing with problems people start themselves, whether its boyfriend stealing and then getting hated or being over obsessed with a guy who used and dumped you, I DONT CARE!

Again i have delt with this for 3 years and it will never happen again, and all im going to do from now on is, im sorry, not my problem and if im an ass for wanting to mind my own buisness im sorry have a nice life hope you get far with all your drama!

Truly, am i a jerk for wanting to live outside of that drama?

Walking away

This may seem like the wrong thing to do, but in some situations theres nothing that you can do is walk away. I think that in romantic relationships is the only time that you shouldnt do it. With family you can though, they will be able to understand that you just dont want to start a fight with them, there are times thats the only thing that you can do for them. I think its the only thing that can keep certain relationships together especially with family.

Now, in a romantic relationship its only kind of a good thing to walk away. If there is a problem in that situation 9 times out of 10 it is better to talk about it then walk away. With that type of a situation they can think that you are walking away from the relationship by not talking BUT if tensions are high and you really dont want to risk what you have with the person, and you think things could be said that both of you would regret in the morning, is the only time you walk away, but you have to make it clear that that is why you are walking away.

Now with friends. This is a different story, they are normally only in your life for a certain period of time especially with where i am right now, in highschool, friend ships dont make it that far in highschool. its better just to walk away and let the other person cool down and let yourself cool down. With most friend situations it normally has something to do with the drama that goes on at school, so then your not only walking away from the person, you walk away from the problems that they normally caused themselves.

I know its stupid to walk away but there are always situations that it works better then talking and getting pissed at eachother.

Coming Home

I've been stuck in this whirlwind
My life's been spinning round my head
Long distance conversations
Make up for me not being there

And now I'm coming home
I'm coming home to you again
I hope you feel the same
Now I'm coming home
I'm coming home to you again
I hope things haven't changed

Singin'
I've been locked inside this freight train
Unaware of the normal life I had
Frustration building a foundation
I wrote this song to let you know that I'll be back

Screamin'
I hope you feel the same

I can't stop, can't stop thinking
About what you do when you're alone
Let's cut right to the chase girl
Take back the time, time that we've lost, time we've lost

Love in my eyes..

Love..

Something few find but even fewer hold onto. I have found who i love. People can tell me im to young to know what love really is, but i think i have it figured out. its the person you cant stop thinking about, and that they cant stop thinking about you too. its the person that no matter what time it is they always find a way to answer a call or text. The person that always tries to make things easier on you. it has nothing to do with the things the person get and does for you. it has to do with how you feel about the person when that are and arent around. it the person that after you are done hanging out with them all day, you still want to be around them and that you really dont want to say goodbye. Hes the person i think about the second i wake up and right before i go to bed. And its also the same way for the other person, thats what makes it real love.

It has been 5 months to the day i have felt like this. im in love with Ryan and even though i cannot see him today he will be one of the only people on my mind, and the only man that will ever really mean anything to me, outside of my family.

Can we open up?

We all say that we want to be more open with people that, that is our goal with them. We see it all the time in realtionships with family, friends or a signifigant other, we always try to stay open with ur minds as much a we can. There are times that they ont know things about us, even the simplist of things, for example i like to write short stories, and poetry but if you asked anyone in my family on a few would know that i do, my mom and my grandma most likly. my boyfriend knows i get bored and i write but he hasnt even read one of my stories. And thats just a basic example of things that we hide from people.

We all need to be more open with eachother, theres no reason to not tell someone something or just forget to mention that you have a big secret in your life.

The people around you deserve to know the things that are on your mind, if they are important enough to keep in your life, why not have the courage to tell them more abou yourself then just the day to day things.

Can we be explained by others?

Sometimes we tell people that they know us better then we do at some times but can it really be true? Each person is unique in their own special ways and that cant be changed. We are sometimes able to see things about people before they do, not because we are mind readers or because we know everything, it is because as humans we are able to make intuitive leaps about how a person is going to go about there life depending upon previous actions now sometime people say that they have changed but they are still exactly the same. Others though can make changes throughout highschool and through out the course of a few years.

People cannot figure us out entirly, we all have our own minds and we all are able to be ourselves without being judged by anyone but ourself.

We cannot let others say that they know us better because that would be impossible.

Fairies

They are called the wee folk, the fair folk and the people of the peace. They are types of angels. They have the ability to fly, to cast spells and they can forsee the future. In modern cuture they are always short and young women, but some are tall radiant angelic beings. Fairies are normally have insect or butterfly wings.

There are times i wish that i was a fairy, i wish that i was able to fly i want to be able to fly away at times and just escape the world. To be a fairy would be perfect i could be in love, i could fly and then i could help ohers find there love and figure out what could help take them away from the problems in there life.

I want to help people and have Him by my side.

Flying

Flying would be freeing, it would be like having the most euphoric feeling in the world. it would be the feeling of perfect, you could fly where ever you want and do whatever you want to do. The flight is the most perfect flying among the clouds and be free. Nothing could stop us.

Instead of fighting with people all we would have to fight would be nature. and theres nothing that can stop nature but people can be stoped, its all a matter of how you stop them. whether it be looking at them for what they are or helping them realize all they want to do is fly too.

We all want to fly, we all want to be free, maybe if we could all fly maybe we would be more peaceful.

In my eyes....

Some people have this crazy idea, that they have to be living a certain way or that they have to look a certain way in order to fit in, it isnt true. Some people are able to find there way into a crowd thats just like them and they can maintain their own security. People find ways to make others look smaller in order to better themselves. Some people pride themselves on how they are able to bring down another human being. Look at different stereotypes in schools, some of them end up commiting suicide, some get themselves expelled nd some sit in detention week after week because they are trying to prove they are better then the "system"

We sould all be tryin to help eachother in different situations, trying to better ouselves by helping better others.

Although i kind of feel like im preaching to the choir there are times that we are blind and dont see what we are putting other people through.

On the turning Away

All of my pictures that i have taken to Pink Floyds On the Turning Away



On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we wont understand
Dont accept that whats happening
Is just a case of others suffering
Or youll find that youre joining in
The turning away

Its a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting its shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that were all alone
In the dream of the proud

On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
And mesmerized as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night

No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
Its not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that therell be
No more turning away?

Thunderstruck!

Kane County Eagles!!!!

Some pictures are personal and others are from KCEagles.com

Good luck the rest of this season eagles

I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track (Thunder)
I looked round
And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do (Thunder)
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you (Thunder)

Sound of the drums
Beatin' in my heart
The thunder of guns
Tore me apart
You've been - thunderstruck

Went down the highway
Broke the limit, we hit the town
Went through to Texas, yeah Texas
And we had some fun
We met some girls
Some dancers who gave a good time
Broke all the rules, played all the fools
Yeah, yeah, they, they, they blew our minds

I was shakin' at the knees
Could I come again please?
Yeah the ladies were too kind
You've been - thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck

Oh, thunderstruck
Yeah

Now we're shaking at the knees
Could I come again please?

Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah

Said yeah, it's alright
We're doing fine
Yeah, it's alright
We're doing fine
So fine

Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Tunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Whoa baby, baby, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck

Insanity

Insanity in its truest form is stupidity. People see it every day. People are creatures of habit, they all follow the same patterns. People date the same types of people, EVERYTIME and they always make the same mistake and fall for the person. A friend of mine has been with the same girl over 8 times and now he is planning on asking her out again, to me that is true stupidity. i wish that i could show him how stupid that he is. then again he is a guy...so maybe i am expecting too much..

People need to find the balance in there lives from going insane and being overly sane.

All Summer Long!!

This song hit #1 the week ryan and i went to Brighton Michigan!



It was 1989, my thoughts were short
my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen and she was far from in-between
It was summertime in
Northern Michigan
Ahh Ahh AhhAhh Ahh Ahh

Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair

[Chorus:]And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long

Catching Walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun
We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock and roll

While we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long

Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes I'll hear that song and I'll start to sing along
And think man I'd love to see that girl again

[Repeat Chorus x2]

Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long